You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
