Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
