It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
