Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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