you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
