i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize