I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
