If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
