i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize