Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
