that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
