i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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