Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
