When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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