I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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