you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
