i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize