and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
