i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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