Too much gin, very little bucket
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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