Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
