please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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