i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize