Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
