Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
