yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
