Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize