what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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