My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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