I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
