The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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