i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
