I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't deserve a penis
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
