I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Bring me that man meat
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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