If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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