Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's just like the Real World with babies
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
