Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize