did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize