You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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