I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
