it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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