I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
