He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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