I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
