I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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