maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We talked him into tasing himself.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
