dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
