we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
