my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
