I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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