why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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