Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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