just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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