Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
