Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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