I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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