Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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