Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
