I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
