I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
