So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
