Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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