is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
